That it aint no sin to be glad you're alive.
I'm torn between the light and dark.David Bowie - Quicksand.
Where others see their targets.
Yes you were a little half-nazi with your "Himmler's sacred realm".
But you were the one which increased over above those false myths.
You did not need them at that time, much longer
(at one time you got caught at customs with the Nazi stuff)
Perhaps everybody´s torn between and have two minds sometimes.
It is caused by the searching and is part of karma.